One way to look at risk

A friend of my husband’s once commented to me “I could never be married to your husband.” I remember thinking “Well that’s good, because I am married to him.” She went on to explain, “I just couldn’t take the stress of being married to an entrepreneur.”

That sentiment seems to strike a cord with a lot of people when they consider the up and down sides of having their own business.  I am sometimes surprised how I have redefined for myself what is risky and what is tolerable.

I know of an entrepreneur who, in his first venture, lost without warning, a major revenue stream. He responded immediately by developing a new revenue source and ended the year in the black. He had information and he used it immediately.  

Someone who is risk-averse may focus on the loss of the revenue stream.

Someone else may choose to focus on the fact that the entrepreneur could immediately respond to the change in the business. He did not have to wait for some corporate chain of command to approve a new direction. He was not left wondering what to do. He did not find himself being handed a pink slip after the fact, when it was too late to save his job, let alone the business.  He had to work really hard, but he did it.

"I can accept failure. Everybody fails at something. But I can't accept not trying. Fear is an illusion." -- Michael Jordan

Spenders and Savers

My friend Demetria Gallegos writes for the Wall Street Journal. The Denver Post just started carrying her column The Juggle where they put “the personal in personal finance”. The first article to appear in yesterday ‘s Post When Spending Styles Clash, There's a Cost really hit home for me. Demetria writes about her husband who is the saver, and she is the “spender, who thinks it’s okay to loosen up now and then and indulge”.  I would say my husband and I have those same roles in our marriage.

The saver and the spender are easy to identify, but according to Brent Kessel,  there are 8 Financial Archetypes.  These archetypes are explained as “energies within us” in his book “It’s Not about the Money”.  He has an online quiz which I took and recommend. When I read the book I could easily see that I was a "Pleasure Seeker" but it was nice to learn from the quiz  that I have other, what I consider more balanced, archetypes in the mix.  Good to know I am not just about the spending.  The "Empire Builder" is one of the 8 archetypes and seems to be to be particularly relevant to the entrepreneurial personality.  Check it out and see if you agree.

Deep seated values and underlying attitudes towards money have alway been relevant topics for marriage  I know I am also stating the obvious that money plays a role in starting entrepreneurial ventures. It seems to me that when you and your spouse are involved in an entrepreneurial venture money becomes all the more intense and personal. There are a ton of financial decision points - when can the entrepreneur quit their day job, how much of the family’s money will go to support the business, should you ask friends and family to contribute to your cause (the family angels), how do the dynamics change when you do have money, are you doing this for the money or for the experience.

“Entrepreneurs are risk takers, willing to roll the dice with their money or reputation on the line in support of an idea or enterprise. They willingly assume responsibility for the success or failure of a venture and are answerable for all its facets.” 

-Victor Kiam, owner of Remington Products

Introducing Entrespouse

Welcome to Entrespouse, the blog about being the spouse of an entrepreneur. My husband is starting his third business. When I first met him, he was just getting his first business of the ground. I remember him telling me that he had started a business and I was impressed. So many of us have ideas, but so few of us actually execute them. The more I talked to him the more I liked him. He was smart, witty, humble and kind, and, devastatingly handsome. I can tell you that when I first met him, began dating, and married him, that I did not fully realize how that his willingness to start a business of an idea of his own, spoke volumes about who he is as a person, and what our life together would be like. And that is all good.

I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly of entrepreneurial ventures. I find that being married to an entrepreneur can be exciting and daunting at the same time.  There have been times when I have wanted to talk to someone else who has been through the ups and downs of the entrepreneurial cycle and could offer encouragement, perspective and humor.

So this blog is for spouses of entrepreneurs who could use a little support for themselves as they support their spouses (or partners, significant others etc).