Honestly speaking

It has been a few weeks since I have last posted an entry. I have a quandary when it comes to  Entrespouse and that is, how honest am I willing to be in this blog?

In reviewing my first entries the reflect a sense of calm which most certainly was not how I felt  when I experienced some of these situations - when Scott's first company lost funding, when Scott did not have employment etc. I found, as I wrote these entries, I want to portray my husband in the best possible light. I fear that those who read my entries, not knowing Scott might judge him, or judge me. Which of course leads me to, "why write the blog?". Scott has given me his full support to delve into whatever I might need to delve into. His view is that if it can help people understand the challenges of pursuing entrepreneurial ventures, than it is worth it. So I am still thinking about that.

What a Difference Two Years Can Make

About this time two years ago my husband applied and got accepted to participate in a 4-month program called the  Founder Institute
"The Founder Institute is a global network of startups and mentors that helps entrepreneurs 
launch meaningful and enduring technology companies.".
Through his participation in this rigorous program, he started BlogMutt.com. 


Last week I wrote that I did not love it when my husband quit his consulting gig to pursue creating his company.  This past week Scott had the opportunity to appear on the Channel 9 morning show here in Denver to let viewers know that BlogMutt.com is hiring contract blog writers. He received over 200 applications that day from people who want to write blogs.  


Creating jobs is the upside of entrepreneurism.  As an entre-spouse this is a part of entrepreneurism that I like a lot. We both think pay days are great. These are the days when a healthy chunk of money brought in, goes out. Out to people who can now pay their bills, get their cars fixed, send their kids to summer camp. Out to people who help BlogMutt.com succeed. 


It has been said that entrepreneurs have a vital role in economic development and are key contributors to innovation and job growth. Sounds pretty worthwhile.  If your spouse is considering a venture, and it makes you nervous, you might find you can bear the risk when you consider that the venture may provide gainful employment for a few, or a lot, of people.

Where is that puck going to be?

Risk and security are two reoccurring themes for me in my relationship with an entrepreneurial husband.  In my last post I talked about how a situation could be perceived as risky by some and not by others.  I was pretty positive in that post, and while that is my ideal state of mind, I don’t always start out there.

Last year at this time, Scott was just getting his third venture, a blog writing service, off the ground. He also had a consulting gig that required him to fly out of state for 4 or 5 days, 1-2 times a month. He doesn’t like to travel and as his interest in his new business grew, he liked the travel less and less. He knew his future was not going to be that consulting gig, but rather the new company, Blogmutt.

I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been. --Wayne Gretzky

I think you could call this a Catch 22 – if Scott  did not concentrate on the new business he would be stuck on a plane flying to his consulting work. If he stayed in the role he did not care for he could fund the new business but not have enough time to work on it. After months and months of transition, he finally decided to leave that work so he could develop his business.

Let me say that I was not thrilled with that decision. Logically I understood it. And I really liked that he had a business he was interested in and excited about. But it meant that I would be responsible for financially supporting our family for the short term, short to be defined by the company’s success. And that bugged me, and looking deeper, I would say that scared me.

Scott was very dedicated to the new business and doing all that he could to ensure its success.  I tried to figure out how to deal with the pressure of being the only breadwinner. I decided to buy disability insurance, so that if anything happened to me, our house payment would at least be covered. That helped me to mitigate the pressure I felt, and somewhere along the line, with that and the growing success of Blogmutt, I became comfortable with my role.   

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." (Also Gretzky)

One way to look at risk

A friend of my husband’s once commented to me “I could never be married to your husband.” I remember thinking “Well that’s good, because I am married to him.” She went on to explain, “I just couldn’t take the stress of being married to an entrepreneur.”

That sentiment seems to strike a cord with a lot of people when they consider the up and down sides of having their own business.  I am sometimes surprised how I have redefined for myself what is risky and what is tolerable.

I know of an entrepreneur who, in his first venture, lost without warning, a major revenue stream. He responded immediately by developing a new revenue source and ended the year in the black. He had information and he used it immediately.  

Someone who is risk-averse may focus on the loss of the revenue stream.

Someone else may choose to focus on the fact that the entrepreneur could immediately respond to the change in the business. He did not have to wait for some corporate chain of command to approve a new direction. He was not left wondering what to do. He did not find himself being handed a pink slip after the fact, when it was too late to save his job, let alone the business.  He had to work really hard, but he did it.

"I can accept failure. Everybody fails at something. But I can't accept not trying. Fear is an illusion." -- Michael Jordan

Spenders and Savers

My friend Demetria Gallegos writes for the Wall Street Journal. The Denver Post just started carrying her column The Juggle where they put “the personal in personal finance”. The first article to appear in yesterday ‘s Post When Spending Styles Clash, There's a Cost really hit home for me. Demetria writes about her husband who is the saver, and she is the “spender, who thinks it’s okay to loosen up now and then and indulge”.  I would say my husband and I have those same roles in our marriage.

The saver and the spender are easy to identify, but according to Brent Kessel,  there are 8 Financial Archetypes.  These archetypes are explained as “energies within us” in his book “It’s Not about the Money”.  He has an online quiz which I took and recommend. When I read the book I could easily see that I was a "Pleasure Seeker" but it was nice to learn from the quiz  that I have other, what I consider more balanced, archetypes in the mix.  Good to know I am not just about the spending.  The "Empire Builder" is one of the 8 archetypes and seems to be to be particularly relevant to the entrepreneurial personality.  Check it out and see if you agree.

Deep seated values and underlying attitudes towards money have alway been relevant topics for marriage  I know I am also stating the obvious that money plays a role in starting entrepreneurial ventures. It seems to me that when you and your spouse are involved in an entrepreneurial venture money becomes all the more intense and personal. There are a ton of financial decision points - when can the entrepreneur quit their day job, how much of the family’s money will go to support the business, should you ask friends and family to contribute to your cause (the family angels), how do the dynamics change when you do have money, are you doing this for the money or for the experience.

“Entrepreneurs are risk takers, willing to roll the dice with their money or reputation on the line in support of an idea or enterprise. They willingly assume responsibility for the success or failure of a venture and are answerable for all its facets.” 

-Victor Kiam, owner of Remington Products

Introducing Entrespouse

Welcome to Entrespouse, the blog about being the spouse of an entrepreneur. My husband is starting his third business. When I first met him, he was just getting his first business of the ground. I remember him telling me that he had started a business and I was impressed. So many of us have ideas, but so few of us actually execute them. The more I talked to him the more I liked him. He was smart, witty, humble and kind, and, devastatingly handsome. I can tell you that when I first met him, began dating, and married him, that I did not fully realize how that his willingness to start a business of an idea of his own, spoke volumes about who he is as a person, and what our life together would be like. And that is all good.

I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly of entrepreneurial ventures. I find that being married to an entrepreneur can be exciting and daunting at the same time.  There have been times when I have wanted to talk to someone else who has been through the ups and downs of the entrepreneurial cycle and could offer encouragement, perspective and humor.

So this blog is for spouses of entrepreneurs who could use a little support for themselves as they support their spouses (or partners, significant others etc).